The Urban Man

Bright Clothes on Wheels

Getting to the Story

Yesterday, I missed most of the Oscar telecast. Yes, it's true. I didn't tune in until they got to Best Actor.  I tried hard, but I was delayed by traffic, and right around the time Mo'nique was giving her potent speech, I was transitioning anxiously from the 15 to the 10, caught up in a massive 3D experience of taillights and Taco Bells...

The Ever-Hungry Gods

The other night, my friend John explained why America is not ready for health reform. I've quoted John before. He's an unsung philosopher who works as a carpenter out in the Valley. Like carpenters of old, he often speaks in an oracular fashion....

The Well-Ordered Estate

Like most Americans, I like to believe that capitalism operates with a kind of heavenly logic: that it ultimately makes sense for the whole society, and that the people at the top are not robber barons, but the guarantors of social order. I want to feel that their relentless efforts create not just prosperity, but a logical mansion in which we can all dwell at peace...

The Endless Avoid

Here in L.A., we are all experts at avoiding people. In fact, a lot of folks move here because they don't really like people, and they can easily hole up in a small tract house with their big TV and cocoon-like car. If you telecommute, you don't even have to see people in the office. Go to a midnight club, and you can get all sweaty without actually touching a single sweaty other...

A Muchness of Tokyo

Back in my hometown of L.A., we like to think we're experts in muchness. You know: Much entertainment. Much style. Much city. A muchness of muchness. But after spending the last 48 hours here in Tokyo, I have to report that Angelenos are pikers, maybe even posers. It's true: In Tokyo, they have achieved a muchness which Angelenos can only dream about or render digitally: more city, more people, much bright signage, and of course, multi-story, multi-use entertainment complexes...

Capturing the Tao

Like most modern people, I figure that no matter what happens here in industrialized society, no matter what ugly freeways we build or late night TV we watch, there lives some saffron-robed monk on some Far East mountain who still has it all together, spiritually speaking; who grasps some eternal nameless truth we no longer grasp. Maybe he even calls it the "Tao." We think: "Hey, if only I could stand in that guy's Zen garden for five minutes..."

It's Going to Be Okay

It's January 4, high time to offer my predictions for the coming year. As always, my methods are beyond reproach. You can be confident that I have consulted a selection of fairly important psychics and made several calls to second-year grad students at leading universities...

Looking for Hints

It’s the holidays, and again this year I’ve gone looking for subtle hints that the universe really cares: not just about humankind, but about Angelenos. Nothing miraculous, mind. I’m not expecting something involving exactly eight jelly donuts at Factor’s deli. No stigmata appearing on a major male celebrity. No elves dancing across the La Brea Tar Pits...

Guaranteed Gifting

Again this week we're exploring the Urban Man Signature Holiday Catalog, now online and cleverly designed to take the guesswork out of gifting...

Gifted Communications

I understand your pain. I know that again this holiday season you're looking for a gift that communicates something highly specific to your significant other — but it's proving a frustration...

May You Get It All Just Right

The Holidays are upon us, and again this year, the Urban Man wants to send a personal greeting out to all his listeners. Whether you're huddled with your iPod, or driving down the freeway hard, please imagine these words printed on a really clever card: You know, with some nondenominational or even deconstructionist artwork only hinting at whatever seasonal imagery most appeals to your personal background: a glowing menorah or snowy church...yard...

That Whole Thankful Thing

It's almost Thanksgiving, and like everyone, the Urban Man is trying to conjure an overall sense of gratitude. Here in L.A., it's no cakewalk. After all, we are most of us not actually rich and famous. Or maybe we're rich but not famous. Or we're famous but experience no love. Or we have money, fame, and love, but no Oscar. Or we have money, fame, love, an Oscar, and a deep spiritual life, but our dog is always at the vet...

Another Big Finish

Last Friday, I was slaving cheerfully at my laptop, IM'ing a colleague about many important things — when my calendar popped up to remind me that the world was coming to an end in 15 minutes. "Hey," I thought, "nothing's more important than the end of the world." So I typed in, "sorry, gotta run" and dashed to my classic ‘99 Taurus — a car purchased just before the last time the world ended...

Nobody Does Obsession Like the Japanese

Last week, I found myself at a 35th anniversary celebration for Hello Kitty. No kidding, Hello Kitty: that unspeakably cute Japanese cartoon figure with the round eyes, button nose, red bow, and three whiskers each side. In Japan, Hello Kitty is a national obsession, and more than 25,000 different products feature that face: purses, clocks, radios, towels, toasters, tea sets, you name it. I hear it’s socially acceptable for a Tokyo executive to have a Hello Kitty startup screen on his cell phone. The licensing company makes billions...