The Ice Bath
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Here's how I handle a crying baby: I unwrap it a bit – babies always seem too tightly swaddled, in my opinion – and then I take it outside, into the cold. As the cold air hits the baby's skin, its tiny internal thermostat kicks in, and all of the energy formerly devoted to crying and fussing gets channeled into the life-preserving mammal's instinct to keep warm. The poor little thing exhausts itself, nods off, and pipes down...