A Mighty Ocean

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This is Svetlana Maksimovsrskaya with Social Studies for KCRW.

I have to tell you, I was so happy to hear from Angie this week, we were very close for many years we even have same tattoo in the lumbar section near vertebrate 47, the point is I have missed her and it was so good to get phone call from her last week, she said to me, "Svetlana, we need a blonde so we are thinking of bringing small Russian boy into our soccer team family and we wanted to talk to you about your connections."

I said, "Of course, nobody can stand my little cousin Alex I'm sure he's available for purchase, I will be over with photos in a jiffy."

But then I realized I can't go without seeing Angie's movie first and what about Brad's movie also, so I did double feature, Oceans 13 and A Mighty Heart back to back. Not recommended combination, only one that was worse was when I went to see Breaking the Waves and Groundhog Day.

Now the last movie I saw with Bradkie was the socially conscious masterpiece Babel. Kidding. Hated that movie. Heavy-handed nightmare. Poor Brad in this movie, Oh nobody understands me, different cultures different languages, Cate Blanchett is peeing on my knee, the world is ending.

I can't wait for sequel: Babel Two: I Found A Dictionary. You know at least Oceans 13 does not try to be anything, not even movie...it's like watching GQ fashion channel, and thank God for Ellen Barkin. What a woman. Fantastic. Devoured me in '94 by the way, devoured. Oh, and Al Pacino, my little donut, I just saw him at his AFI Lifetime Award, a little depressing these lifetimes awards, oh that's it, you've done so much you might as well die tomorrow. Speaking of which, I told him Alush, stop dying your hair, you are pushing 70, at some point people will start asking questions. Learn from Sean Connery, all white hair, a thousand years old and still sexy. I don't know what he does. My Grandfather Maksim is same age and he looks like walking hospital.

Anyway I walked out of Ocean film feeling very happy and slightly dumber somehow I don't know why, but issokay. Because then I went to see Mighty Heart.

Now the first five minutes of film I was annoyed because Angie sounded a bit Armenian with her accent but otherwise she was very solid. And this other actor Dan Futterman. Cute like pudding this guy. His face actually looks like his name. It looks like a Futterman. If there was such a thing as a Futterman it would look like his face. Oh I've never seen a Futterman before. Well this is it, you are looking at it. Oh fantastic.

Now obviously the danger of movie based on real tragedy like Daniel Pearl story is pulling of heartstrings, manipulation, but in the hands of Michael Winterbottom it could not be more tastefully realistic. Look, this guy could make action film about aliens and cupcakes and it would look like political documentary.

I do have to say I was surprised to see Angie in this movie because the role was first offered to Paris Hilton. Kidding. Poor little ferret, thank God she is out of jail because she was calling me every six minutes. And Dan Rather with all his moaning about too much Paris coverage. I said to him, "Danny, I may drop you as client you are becoming so whiny. People need break. Life is hard, they need some fluff. You want better coverage of the war, send Paris to prison in Iraq, get Winterbottom to shoot it as miniseries, air it after American Idol, millions of Americans will finally understand what is going on over there, revolt, and the war will be over before the re-run." Boom. Done. How is that for exit strategy, my specialty by the way.

OK, I have to go, I am helping Jennifer Hudson with audition for Anna Karenina. This is Svetlana Maksimovakaya with Social Studies for KCRW. Bye bye.



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