During recent spring cleaning, Music Librarian Eric J. Lawrence came across what looked like the end of a dusty keytar poking out of the edge of an air duct in the KCRW Music Library. Lawrence states that he started pulling the keytar out and came across a skeleton hand with a lime green neon tennis wristband. In disbelief, Lawrence continued to pull at the skeletal arm which was connected to a torso wrapped in what may have been at some point a tattered spandex body glove outfit. “I just kept pulling and pulling for what seemed like ages,” Lawrence said rather shaken. The total number of objects pulled out of the duct amounted to two human skeletons mummified in spandex, an empty can of Pepsi clear, a tattered homemade band cassette, and a hash pipe.
Santa Monica Police were called to the scene to investigate. Detective Victor Fribble told reporters that, “it seemed that at some point in the late 80’s a synthpop duo attempted to break into the KCRW studios through a vent in the Santa Monica College student center, but seemingly got lost and trapped along the way. Detective Fribble stated that he believed “these may be the remains of GloWonder!,” a Wham-esque band that used to play different clubs up and down Main Street from 1988-1989.
Lawrence told this reporter, “it’s a real bummer that tape got tattered. It could have been the Shroud of Turin of chillwave.”
(by KCRW’s house comedian Mario Cotto – April Fools!)